Why Veering off Course Can Help Reach Your Destination

Detours: Finding Your Own Path to Success

Have you ever plunged into the unknown without knowing what lies ahead?

Taken a leap so far that you couldn’t decide whether you were feeling complete exhilaration or absolute terror by the uncertainty ahead? 

Minimalism is like that for me. 

I mean, I have a good sense of minimalism, as I simplified my life once before. But this adventure is new territory. 

Single, divorced mom of nine becoming a minimalist —it’s a whole new dimension. 

And no longer having a partner means the decision-making — or rather decision fatigue — rests solely on my shoulders.

Too many choices are exhausting, especially on a daily basis. But this last week emphasized how veering off course is a valuable and productive tool in reaching our destination. 

Conquering Self-Doubt

We’ve made noticeable progress on our first major minimizing project, but not as much as I’d hoped. I somehow thought it might go faster. Instead, it’s two steps forward, one step back.

And I kept having this creeping sense of unease I couldn’t shake.

Failure was lurking just around the corner. 

Feelings of inadequacy. Imposter syndrome. How will I find the time to minimalize my entire home—my life? Am I headed in the wrong direction? 

I have so many other things pulling and needing my attention. Short-term and long-term goals. Personal goals. Things that matter to me.

• Kids

• Business

• Family time

• Homeschooling

• Friendships

• Self-care

• Marathon goals

And the aftermath of my divorce still seems to linger on. My former spouse still believes I’m not entitled to his hard-earned money. Yes, he works hard, but the bottom line is we had a family. 

It’s always there in the background, but this particular problem doesn’t have easy answers. And as much as I’d love to let it go, I have children to protect. Children that are entitled to a part of his earnings.

Long ago, I realized I had no control over his actions. It’s not worth my worry. And worrying doesn’t change situations; it only keeps us stuck. The only control I have is how I respond to his choices.

My focus needs to remain on moving forward and designing my life in a way that I’m longer dependent on him. 

But with a large family, it’s not always easy. 

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in worry and fear. Especially if we’re uncertain of our next step. And it seems even more prominent when we’re stepping out of our comfort zones.

Uncertainty has a way of shining a spotlight on all the negatives. 

But I also know the upside of uncertainty is that it tends to bring more growth —  opportunities to reach our full potential. 

Thankfully, my kids and I are working on this project together, and they don’t hesitate to call me out. 

When I started listing all the ways I was failing, my son immediately referred me back to my ground rule number one.

If a particular project takes longer than anticipated, I won’t feel like I failed.

Well then. 

Have I mentioned my kids are great accountability partners?

Risks = Rewards

I jumped into our minimalism journey like I do most everything — feet first-questions later.

I don’t always know the next step; I just trust it will come. And somehow, it always does. 

I’m a firm believer in taking risks.

Stepping outside our comfort zones is how we grow — it’s key to personal development. But we all have different levels of comfort, so what may seem daunting to some feels like a walk in the park to others. 

When I give myself too much time to think about everything that might go wrong, I’ll undoubtedly talk myself out of it. So if it fits within my core values and beliefs, I often go for it and ask questions later. 

Risk-taking is as much of an art as a science. 

While it’s important to weigh the risks, we have intuition for a reason — especially when there’s no clear path in front of us. 

So, for all the reasons I could list against becoming a minimalist, I’m following my north star. 

At times minimalism and my big family feel like an oxymoron, but I know I can make it work. I can see my end goal, along with the rewards. It feels like I’m on the right track. 

Now, getting there is a whole other thing. 

Embracing Detours 

So far, I’ve taken a slow approach intentionally to eliminate overwhelm. But overwhelm has a way of sneaking up on us. The week was slipping by, and I still hadn’t touched anything. 

The days are busy, and if I don’t prioritize a task, it usually doesn’t happen. So the piles have sat. I felt like doing everything but sorting through the old stuff. 

And when I don’t feel it, I know it will be a much longer and drawn-out process. So instead of forcing myself, I decided to go with it. When things get too heavy, it’s always better to take a step back. 

Powerful Pauses

Stepping back is a great way to broaden our perspective. From the beginning, I’ve said enjoying the journey was more important than reaching the end. And this week, sorting started feeling more like a burden than a blessing.

I’ve been here before. 

A sense of overwhelm that brings self-doubt— it’s a familiar feeling. And when this happens, I’ve found it always helps to pause. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a walk, while other times, it means stepping back.

Disengaging tends to bring more insight, perspective, and clarity. And it brings a new sense of momentum and realization. And more often than not, we realize our thoughts were in-the-moment-emotion driven. 

Self-love 

Which ultimately circles back to self-love and self-care. Prioritizing our emotional well-being is key to moving forward. 

Minimalizing isn’t as simple as donating and throwing away. It’s a process that requires our full attention and mindfulness — in a good way. 

But it can get heavy. 

Going through all our old stuff has been an emotional roller coaster. I knew I needed a break. 

So this past week, I shifted directions and focused on other projects I’m working on. I made time for a facial and a long soak in the bath with my favorite book. I went out to dinner with a friend. 

I concocted a new recipe. I talked with an old and new friend. I watched a movie with the kids. We had some long conversations filled with fun and laughs. I slept an extra hour on a few different days. 

Having a support system and tools in place makes all the difference.

My days were full and busy, but I also made time for self-love. I intentionally created moments I knew would fill me back up. 

Overall, it was a pretty great week. 

Balancing Act

I’ve talked before about how much I love routines yet also going with the flow. Structure is important, yet too much never works well for me. 

I crave consistency, yet I fully embrace detours. 

We all have our own preferences, which look a bit different for everyone. But finding our balance is essential. It’s the difference between enjoying or dreading the day-to-day. 

Taking time for ourselves each day affects almost everything in our lives: relationships, productivity, mental and physical health, and overall satisfaction and fulfillment. 

It can be challenging to find our balance, but great things happen when we do. 

Forging our own paths

It would be nice if there were clear and concise directions on the path to minimalism — life really. 

But there are always going to be ups and downs. And no matter how specific and well-executed our goals are, it’s not a linear path. Mistakes will be made, and our emotions may get the best of us at times.

It’s part of life. They’re simply signals to shift directions, pause, or redesign.

How we respond matters — in fact, it’s probably the most important thing. When we learn how to navigate these times and use it to our advantage — that’s when the magic happens.

There isn’t one correct path to success. Guidelines — yes, but we’re all on our own journey. And what success looks like to me undoubtedly looks different to you. 

There are many shades of grey when it comes to success.

This past week brought much awareness. And a gentle reminder that embracing detours is a great way to reenergize and reengage. 

Stepping back is an incredible tool. 

I stepped off the ledge when I plunged into minimalism. 

And even though I’m embracing it as a single divorced mom of nine, there will be more tough moments. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible — or that I’ve taken a wrong turn. 

I’m capable, and it will happen, one way or another. 

And I have a funny feeling I’ll be veering off course several more times before reaching the final destination. 

But it’s all part of the adventure, right?