When Mom Overwhelm Sets In

It’s easy to push to the point of having nothing left to give. And when you’re empty, exhaustion is lurking, waiting to settle in.

Knowing something needs to change is the easy part. The challenge comes in grasping exactly what that is.

Don’t get me wrong– cuddles, kisses, and being a mom is an amazing privilege most days.

But we all have times when it feels like it’s more than we can handle– when demands are piling up, sometimes outweighing our capability.

And no matter how many dishes or loads of laundry are washed, it never seems enough.

Frazzled and overwhelm easily becomes the norm.

And when mom-mode is on autopilot, it’s not easy to see much beyond.

When I started talking about it with other moms, it seemed like none of us had enough time. Being pulled in different directions and somehow always running behind was a common theme.

Connecting on a real level was validating. I didn’t feel so alone.

I knew I wanted to feel calmer. To sit in stillness and reclaim my sense of peace.

I eventually understood that I needed to carve out some time for myself, even though I still struggled with guilt.

There was always so much to do. And moms are supposed to self-sacrifice, right?

But I realized we all have the same amount of hours. So, it comes down to prioritizing and committing to our musts and, yes, sometimes letting things go.

When you’re giving everything, it’s important to remember yourself.

And only we can honor ourselves with this gift.

Was soaking in a long hot bath self-indulgent or a well-deserved break? It didn’t take too long before I had the answer.

How we choose to frame our perspective is everything.

It’s much like when I decided to commit to healthier eating. Home-cooked meals became a priority once I saw the benefits and results– saving money and losing undesired weight.

The benefits of a self-care routine are multi-layered. It’s preventative.

Taking care of ourselves eases the overwhelm and makes everything seem more doable.

Realistically, some days the warm fuzzies of motherhood feel far out of reach.

Now, if I come close to that place, I know I’m in need of some self-care.

Throughout the years, I’ve followed a go-to plan that never fails.

It’s a low-cost form of therapy.

At least once a week, I devote time to self-care. The list below is a great place to start. Make it yours. For those in deep overwhelm, focus on one each day. It works.

Self-care routine

1. Steep a cup of warm herbal tea or a mason jar of fruit-infused water, depending on the season

Run a bath. Light candles and play some soft background music. I love to add a couple of tablespoons of coconut oil and a few drops of lavender essential oil to the water. Then, grab a good book and lock your door for an hour.

Bonus tip: Apply a DIY natural face mask for your soak. Use your kitchen. Here are a few masks I love.

2. A DIY pedi and mani

Soak your feet for 15 minutes in a soaker. Don’t forget to add a few drops of tea tree essential oil to the warm water. While you’re doing that, rest your hands in a soapy bowl of warm water.

When finished, push back those cuticles, buff, clip, and file. Pick out your favorite color– something fun– and make your statement.

Extra credit for dancing to your favorite song.

3. Get outside and explore

Find a trail in the city or country. Bike, hike, rollerblade, or walk. Movement creates energy. Listen to an audiobook. Or not. Is your world filled with excessive noise? The silence may be a welcomed relief.

Gold star for the next step. During your walk, forgive that certain someone. Let go for yourself. Forgiveness releases you– it doesn’t excuse the other person’s wrong.

4. Organize and declutter a messy area

It doesn’t have to be a big project, a cupboard or drawer. A section of your closet, a cluttered shelf. What about clearing your nightstand?

It’s incredible how much we can get done with small intentions. A little effort will pay off in multitudes– clutter is heavier than we realize. Find a bothersome spot and make it pretty.

Extra points for donating items you declutter. Giving makes us happier.

5. Connect with a friend and have a meaningful conversation

Feeling cared for and supported makes all the difference. Reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Or have a gabfest with your best friend.

Bonus tip: Set a date for lunch together. Put something fun on the books– it’s uplifting to have a future date in the works.

6. Coffee anyone?

Bring your laptop or book to a coffee shop. If you have little ones, ask someone to babysit for a few hours. Do whatever it is that makes your heart glow.

Take this time for yourself.

Reconnect with you in a new setting. Believe me when I say it gives newfound inspiration.

Extra points for beginning a new project. What about committing to this outing once a week and use it to plan and set goals?

7. Prepare a recipe you’ve never tried

It doesn’t have to be elaborate. But it can be if you like cooking. Make a meal that entices you. Invite someone over or share with your neighbor. Set the table, use real plates and glasses. Sangria anyone?

Bonus tip:

1. Start a digital collection or photo box to collect your favorite recipes.
2. Make this “new” recipe night a tradition with friends and family.
3. Swap weeks and take turns. It’s an excellent excuse for getting together.

One more thing: Enjoy a piece or two of dark chocolate. There are numerous health benefits, including reducing stress.

Giving to yourself doesn’t have to be expensive, time-consuming, or difficult. Everyone needs self-care, especially moms. It’s in our nature to be selfless, yet we need to remember it’s easier to give when we’ve nourished ourselves.